Valentines day never meant much to me until recent years. Probably because I was in so much turmoil and chaos within myself, and within the relationships I had, I couldn’t fully comprehend the power of love.
This morning I wished my son a happy Valentines Day as we were driving to school and he responded “I don’t really get Valentines Day, or why its a special day.”
I understand his logic there.
So I told him I used to feel the same way. But now I don’t.
I asked him to think about all the people he loves in his life. Me, his sisters, his dad, his puppy… and then think about how life would be if you had no one to love. Then I explained I think a world without love would be a very sad place, and a life without anyone to love would be very cold and empty. Although we should be grateful for people we love everyday, just like every other day we celebrate like Mothers day, birthdays etc… Valentines day is a special day to remind us to be aware of how blessed we are to have anything, and anyone, to love.
He was quiet for a few minutes and before he got out of the car he said “Happy Valentines Day Mom.”
I have evolved… and through my experiences, so has my perspective on things. Love of any kind is something to celebrate and today is a perfect day to be conscious of it.
As Oprah is quoted saying “the more you celebrate your life, the more there is to celebrate.”
Celebrate SELF LOVE.
Work on being in love with the person in the mirror. The one who has been through so much and deserves to feel loved. Contrary to what some might think, self-love is not selfish; you can’t truly love another until you know how to love yourself.
Celebrate RELATIONSHIP LOVE
Every relationship where you feel love can be celebrated today, and every day. Friends, parents, siblings, children, pets… anyone you feel love for is a blessing and should be celebrated and embraced.
Celebrate INTIMATE LOVE
If you have a partner that loves you, even when its not perhaps the best of times, if you love them most times; it should be celebrated. Remember, that WHAT YOU FOCUS ON GROWS and if you think its “just another day” and don’t celebrate your relationship, you will create more lack of and someday may regret those choices.
I understand if you are reading this and thinking it doesn’t apply to you. I likely would have read this kind of post 10 years ago, rolled my eyes and thought this woman must have the perfect life because that certainly isn’t something I was living, or had ever experienced.
The woman in this image today understands something different now.
I didn’t understand love (or valentines day) because until I had a healthy relationship with myself, I wasn’t able to participate in a healthy relationship with others. It made my cynical and negative. It made me feel all the negative feelings like jealously of those who had it, and anger towards those I expected to fill me up.
The blame game is a dangerous game to play. You gamble with your life and happiness when you look “out there” for someone else to make you feel a certain way.
If this is where you are at this valentines day I suggest you…
Celebrate NO RELATIONSHIP LOVE
It was in my years of being alone that I found the greatest love of all. The kind of love that is the root for all other healthy things to grow. It was time focused on me, understanding me, getting help for me and learning to love me. It wasn’t always fun, and sometimes it was REALLY lonely, but once I learned to love myself I stopped being scared to be alone because I always had myself to hang out with. A healthy relationship with myself led me to healthy relationships with others. I am grateful for my ‘no relationship love’ stage.
If you ask my wonderful boyfriend if I am a hopeless romantic he would likely say not really. Although, I am a believer in the power of love… and the power of focus.
This post is intended to help you focus on love as I wish you an abundance of it.